kristin has been a bad kristin
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
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planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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