So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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