how can u be prego again
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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