i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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