I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize