I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize