i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Who died my cat blue again?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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