You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize