pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize