when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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