Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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