I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize