I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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