false alarm. still invincible.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
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i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
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Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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