I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize