it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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