My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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