I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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