eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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