This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize