she woke up with a sticky ear
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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