This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize