i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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