There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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