it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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