If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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