cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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