but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
dude. I can hear the air.
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