i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize