I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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