You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize