1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize