hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize