McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize