some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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