bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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