it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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