Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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