Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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