Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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