my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize