it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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