Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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