For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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