i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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