No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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