i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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