we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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