Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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