peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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